I've put some new songs on my Myspace page incase you want to have a listen.....www.myspace.com/stephaniekirkham
They're works in progress.

'Don't Give Up On Me'
'Day To Remember'
'Angel'
'Don't Throw It Away'

I don't know if it's with being a fire sign or because I feel the cold or because we always had an open fire when I was growing up and built fires in the garden but I've always been attracted to the flames. The dancing, colourful, flickering, ever changing, mysterious beauty and warmth of fire.

Years ago I started a series of four paintings. Earth shows a woman in the woods spinning around. Her arms are reaching upwards and she's looking to the past. Water is a mermaid, green and black and her face is thoughtful and far away. Air is a lilac angel, peaceful, gentle and calm. I didn't get around to Fire. I could see her in my mind but I don't know, fire is powerful and life gets in the way sometimes.

The other day I closed the curtains, got wrapped up and lit a candle and thought about things.
Then I put 'That Girl' on and listened.
I listened to each song 4 or 5 times and watched the candle then closed my eyes.

I drew the shapes, labelled the colours and started to paint. I've been having such a great time! It's what life's for after all. And sometimes things get in the way but sometimes if I fill my gaps between what I need to do with what I want to do- I have such a wonderful time. And the great thing is the gaps are getting longer and more colourful!

Right now I feel like the richest I have ever been, with my fingers full of paint and my head full of colours. I feel emotional and happy. I like this time of night. When the day has been packed and boxes have been ticked and I'm excited to wake up tomorrow and carry on.

I have a gold and pearl powder that I'm going to use on the flames to add a bit of sparkle. Can't wait! I opened it today and had a sneeky peek. I won't let myself use it until all ten flames are painted. It's like the inside of an oyster shell and the gold is like the body of a dragonfly.
Once someone from a record company said I have to choose between art and music but that would be like choosing my arms or my legs, my ears or my eyes.

When they're ready I'll put them up on here for you to see.
Good night x

I've been working in the back of the flower shop painting the series of canvases that go with the songs on 'Sunlight On My Soul' and I'm very happy to say they're finished!
Seeing them all together made me feel quite excited and I started thinking of ideas to go with the songs from 'That Girl'.

      

 

I can't seem to get any peace and quiet.
My brain won't stop. It's like it's running up a hill and I'd follow it but my knees are hurting. Louise Hay would say it's something to do with not bending and flowing with life. I am trying to but I've been a bit tense this week deciding what to do about a couple of things.
I bend and flow with ease, I bend and flow with ease, I bend and flow with ease.

There's a tree outside the window and the wind is having fun.  All the leaves are clinging on to the branches, feeling the freeness but unable to let go. I suppose it's not that bad, feeling the wind again and again rather than being really free only to hit the ground in seconds.

My sister's dog is so happy. I feel very grateful to be seeing her everyday at the moment. She helps balance out the craziness of the kids. Summer holidays.

Last week I went for a row on the River Dee in Chester which was rather lovely. The sun was out and the swans were showing off. I have a picture on my phone but can't get my computer to see it. Rather annoying. I knocked my camera on a door at a gig and so that's died. Not much luck on the camera front, mind you my brother has sent one so I'll see if I can get my head around it and start taking pictures again to brighten up this diary page.

The good thing is that I've almost finished the series of paintings that go with the songs from 'Sunlight On My Soul'. Just two more to go then I'll start on ideas to go with the new songs. I want to paint enough for an exhibition so I can sing the songs in a nice gallery and have the paintings on the walls. It'll be lovely.

My friend emailed me this lovely picture of his gorgeous little dog and some words of wisdom........


Keep smiling and sniff out the new opportunities :) hello peeps say hello to Pi the biggest little dog there is. Pi says keep adding a little tiny bit at a time and before you know it you will have a huge life full of passion. "keep your tail wagging" you never know what is round the next corner

Absolutely!!

I feel so excited about the new songs.    I want to put them up on here but I can't yet.   

They sound different from before, they have a new uplifting way about them, more colourful and open somehow. They sound like Summer. Like flowers opening and waves lapping the shore. Maybe it's because I feel happier, like a line has been drawn and I can let go of the past and start again. I know I'm always doing that and it's good and necessary but I feel I'm on a wave at the moment and I'm able to stand steady and enjoy it.

I think too it's finally really dawned on me that it is the journey that's important. I've read it enough times but now I'm living in the day and moving forward rather than reaching so much that today got lost by the wayside and in my over reaching I'd fall and push it away. 

I went camping at the weekend and it was beautiful. No people or traffic. Just the sound of sheep and the crackling fire.    It was overcast so no stars but you don't have to see it to know that it's there. 

Yesterday I managed to bounce myself off the bottom of the doldrums, my hiding place during the last couple of weeks and as I felt myself slowly coming back up I noticed the new lime green beech leaves beginning to unfurl and I felt a newness coming. Although I have done nothing worthwhile lately I feel like it would have been useless to try and fight the tide. Sitting listening to the wind in the trees I felt like my brain was being washed. Sometimes to sit and stare is enough. For a while nothing else mattered.
I felt recharded enough to go further down the lane, and further down the lane took me to where I walked and played as a child and the dandelions and may flowers smiled. We sat near the top of the hill, out of the wind and the mossy soft grass supported my knees and I felt like the whole earth was hugging me. I felt like my whole self could hug back if only I could let go. Sometimes I just want to sleep so everything goes away but it's not as good as feeding your senses.
There's a shop closing down the road and this morning I bought a c.d. for a pound. It's the sounds of nature. Perfect timing I thought. A gift from life so I can transport myself there when I'm on the train to London tomorrow night.

I went over to Dublin for a couple of days, it was the first time back over there since we made 'That Girl' many moons ago. I do love it in Ireland. It was great to walk along the sea front and up onto Dalkey Hill where I'd spent so much time gazing out to sea.

I had mixed emotions as you do when you revisit the past. It was a time when I felt very hopeful and nervous about the future and it brought up the memories that followed, when Hut went out of business. It was good to go back and wander round Killarney though and remember how happy and excited I had been.

It's time to find a way forward. I'm happy with my new songs and I wonder how I'm going to get them recorded and available for people to hear them. I'm a great believer in watching the path unfold but I struggle with patience and wish I could unfurl it all a little quicker.